The Holy Grail - Becoming an Integrated Man
What is an integrated man? I never knew what this meant because I was not one. Actually, even those men who are probably don’t call themselves by this term. They just go through life as they usually do – happily. I’m more familiar with the “Nice Guy” personality; always trying to please everyone. Sacrifice your own needs for everyone else. As I have been working towards stopping the Nice Guy qualities I learned that my goal was to become an integrated man.
So I ask again, what is an Integrated Man? Let’s look at each word individually. According to the dictionary, the word Integrated means: to put together parts or elements and combine them into a whole. Interesting…but what exactly are we putting together? According to Dr. Glover, writer of the No More Mr. Nice Guy” book, an integrated man is able to embrace everything that makes him unique: his power, his assertiveness, his courage, and his passion as well as his imperfections, his mistakes, and his dark side”. Ok…I understand a little better now. An integrated man is someone who realizes that he is what he is. He’s not perfect. He is not trying to prove anything to anyone. He accepts who he is and doesn’t worry about what others think of him.
Now it all makes a little more sense as to why I would want to move towards being an Integrate Man. I’ve spent my entire life worrying about what others think of me. I avoided conflict. I gave in to everyone’s wishes and ignored my own. I thought I had to be perfect to keep life as smooth as possible. I was afraid of all the qualities that make me unique. Because of all of this I grew resentful and fearful.
But not anymore….now I know what the problems are. I have a roadmap to follow to become better. I also have a goal to reach for – to become an Integrated Man.
Will you join me on this journey?